Being a Woman

With Elections over and the almost anti-climatic end (after so much that the Media spent on discussing the possibilities of elections this time around), what I find interesting is the current speculation of whether India will have its first woman speaker. The talk is that the lady from Bihar, a former Civil Servant, Meira Kumar, is the most likely candidate, and the Dy Speaker chair also might find a lady in its place, Sumitra Mahajan from the opposition. Why I find this interesting is that with so much as more than 50 years of Independence behind us, and our proof to not only the sub-continent but also the world, that we are a successful democracy, we have not been democratic even in the positons of power. To our diverse nation, what keeps making headlines is the differential treatment being met on the lines of caste, region and religion, but we have conveniently been ignoring another dividing line: that of gender bias.We still count One Indira Gandhi, one Sonia or Pratibha, one Sarojini Naidu, or now one Meira Kumar. I know that there is always a first time, but I believe for a country like ours, the first time has come so late in most things, and definitely is no where in the scene when one actually goes into the interactions in daily life, that its almost a shame to be calling ourselves a "Democracy" with so much pride.

Well, I dont intend to start a feminist movement, but of late there is something that I have been realising that is making me respect myself more and I think it is to do with Being a Woman.

Deja-vu & Question Marks

Back to blogging,for the person whose Kaleidoscope wants Mercury to keep the momentum going,and most importantly the header is the phrase she used for what my life currently is :" Deja vu"

However, the post has nothing to do with Deja Vu,but what comes after that.

My laptop (and Gtalk ) status summarises my present perfectly:

"The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you; It is when you dont understand yourself."
or at least some aspects about yourself, like, what is the reason you are still single??

And so I started gathering some opinion/reflections from my friends-old and new(for perspective of the change I have undergone) and well-wishers.
The observations of people ended up becoming more thought provoking than decision enabling and deserve to make an appearance on my treasured blog

P.S: Hope my friends dont mind my posting these without taking their permission,but if anyone does, I sincerely apologise, because the intent is in no way to belittle ,instead its almost a dedication to all those who love me enough to help me find why some others dont :)

1- "You make a very good friend but somewhere you lack what most men,consciously or sub-consciously,like- 'the feminine mystique'..."

2- "You are ..what is the word for it..boisterous..and so come across as someone who is good to spend time chatting with or hanging out with..period.."

3- " ...it appears that you are too good..as in you have a lot of qualities & talents better than a lot of us..multi-faceted..and hence capable of giving people around you some kind of a complex.."

4- "...men cannot handle women who are smart,funny,intelligent and successful-too good a package in a gal- and so they just get intimidated or awed.. thats what it is"

5- "Men like to find in their woman, things different from themselves, one of that being,taking a lot of care to look good, that is something which may appear as what you dont do, pay attention to or take effort to look good...though you should take this with a pinch of salt, it is very relative..."

6-" Your nature is such that you make men very comfortable in opening up and talking, something that most of them are not accustomed to doing..hence in their mind you are the 'female friend they like to share things with/talk to' and for men,that category is very different from the romantic one"

7- " ..You are simple at heart,but give the perception of being a Drama Queen & too complicated and want others to see you as someone who 'thinks' a lot , though you arent that at the core..this complex part puts off men"

8- "..Its not something IN you, its ABOUT you - you choose to pay more attention to people who dont care much for you, than people who do..the reason you choose such people and then the outcome ..thats the only common link -CHOICE.."

9- " Just get out of that place...so that you stop thinking like this and asking such things!!"

There are comments/opinions here that I agree with , some I dont and some I have never considered about myself. But the most pertinent part remains that my friends have such varied opinions about who I am, and what I appear as. People who know me so well and know the same things about me, end up drawing their own conclusion about me...and so does their opinion about what appeals to the species called :men.

Is it even possible to ever be objective about something when dealing with human beings, because thats what it finally ends up being- somebody's personal opinion, tempered by their experiences,rationalisations and interpretations. Are situations and experiences mutually exclusive of each other or there is a common link that needs to be understood.And so, to what extent should one try to fathom all of these and take decisions that are most practical in their impact ,and cause the least amount of hurt and pain..??

I wish to find an answer...wish to be able to get some way of letting THIS Deja-vu not repeat ...ever again...