P-A-R-E-N-T-S

It is when you are almost convinced you are completely in control of your emotions, that an unimaginable, unexplained surge of pain ,sometimes in the form of tears, or even the heaviness that seems to pull your heart down to your very toe, belittles your emotional confidence.
Almost six years have passed, since I first left home, to explore the environs outside the cushiony walls of parental care, to pursue higher education.Back then, it was some kind of force that propelled me to take such a decision, and more importantly, live by it. Despite every such motivating pull,I was a home-sick kid, who shed tears every time I left home after the vacation. As wise people say, these are symtoms of most children,when they leave home for the first time, and things always mellow down, once a 'home away from home' is found in the golden relationship called "friendship". Ditto for me.In fact, B-School provided me much more than I ever expected-may be dangerously so-.

But when day before yesterday, the train that was to take my parents to Chennai, from where they were to move to Ranchi, started to pull away, I felt that upsurge of painful realisation that their five day trip was over, of having to walk into an empty house again, of dancing my way to cooking (to force myself to enjoy it)- and all of this just melted into tears that started rolling down as if they would never stop. Every step I took towards the exit of the platform was as if with the heaviest stone tied to my foot.The comfort and warmth exuded by the sheer presence of family, of parents, that can never really be substituted,that dissolves all the confused feelings of frustration and irritation that a day's work may bring on,or blooms a good piece of work into a lilly,when it might just be a colourful leaf, by the appreciation showered by them(which the Boss may never come around to do) - in short- the all encompassing feeling of emotional security.However, I wonder how many times one has the courage to mention this to the people who make it happen for us..to express how much it means to have our parents enquire about our day/week,their genuine interest in the mundane to the significant, anything to do with' us';while we act pricy by giving abridged versions of our stories, or hold conversations with a "I know it all" attitude when discussing something important...of how much a single pat on the head, or one bear hig, means a world of happiness that one may shy away from ever accepting..
I hope to do it well and good, some day...soon
While for now- here I am alone again, spending my Sunday with a lappie gorging on the 3rd season of "How I met your Mother" and the muted television in the background,an artificial semblance of company at home!!