While I was returning from Chennai last evening, was wondering how beautiful the sky would look if one landed on the day of Diwali, with crackers adorning the sky- and as I neared Madurai, I was lucky to behold the scene- the city resplendent with lights and the skies offering themselves for visually captivating celebration of the festival of lights- this view from the flight- breathtaking..I have always believed, that the joy brought by festivities, is one of its kind- unparalleled in its simplicity, though associated with numerous complicated rituals - be it purchasing something two days before Diwali on Dhanteras(which for all all my efforts I have failed to, this year) or the correct method of Puja for the particular Festival.
It has been five years that I have been home to celebrate Diwali with my family- though I would not say that time has helped in mitigating the "need to celebrate" the authentic way, but yes when I was almost alone on Diwali in France, the year before last, the feeling was reduced with no body around knowing about the importance of the day- all we did was do a minor puja and cook a range of dishes, an aid in imagining we were a tag bit closer to India. Last year too there were four of us, caught in Bangalore and at the nth moment an invitation from a very senior person at work- one of our colleague's bosses, made the Diwali such an amazingly "close-to-home" feel with all the puja and delicious food. However, this year has not been great till now-though with my cousin Abhu coming tomorrow from Blore, has kindled a tiny ray of hope. It was almost a self hate feeling, when day before yesterday, while wishing everyone in office at Chennai and seeing the delight on people's faces, of going back to a home to enjoy the weekend and the festivity, I felt suddenly so much at a loss- almost deadened inside. Even after I am back at Madurai,and continue the 'novel reading-movies/sitcom watching-phone conversation-dancing/sketching' way of enjoying my own company on a Sunday, the crackling sound outside accompanied by the delighted shrieks of kids, and the aroma of festival goodies being fried, I somehow feel very very alone..unable to rationalise being here ..and grappling at finding something that stops my dangerous acquaintance "tears" from commencing their descent..
But to all of you having a good Diwali- the likes of my married batchmates celebrating their first "married diwali"-or most of the others who are at home:
May the lights herald a new beginning
Of joys untold and unimagined
Of Success,Health and Prosperity
And peace of mind to enjoy it all
Wishing all of you and your families,
A VERY HAPPY and SAFE DEEPAWALI.
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